On the Subject of Audiophiles

Christa Campbell

You'll never, ever impress an audiophile. There will always be better speakers, better amps, better pre-amps (what do you mean you don't have a pre-amp??), better speaker cables, better speaker positions, better-designed listening rooms with better geometry, better wall-covering, better seating position, better everything than whatever it is you have. If you don't have exactly the same gear as them then you're some sort of amateur. If you do, well, then there's something better anyway. If you have the better thing then there's something else that's better still and so on.
I have rarely encountered more insufferable bores than self-proclaimed audiophiles. Hard-core, old-school MMO purists have nothing on them. Even the most well-meaning comments, especially positive ones, regarding the quality of some piece of even remotely audio-related technology will attract the attention of audiophiles with efficiency of chum in shark-infested water. Never mind what the original subject was, audiophiles will immediately start making inappropriate comparisons and suggestions in a effort to demean people who generally have no interest in over-thinking headphone or speaker choices.
The interesting thing about audio equipment is that newer is not automatically better. The subjectivity of "sound quality" combined with little change in the basic design of speakers (modern materials and software simulations aside) mean that decades-old gear can often be regarded as highly as something fresh off the shelf. This is great for the audiophile, who can smugly claim the superiority of equipment the average person has never even heard of, and has no chance of ever acquiring, thus satisfying the audiophile's obsession with knowing more about obscure speakers than you while at the same time making it effectively impossible for you to question or disprove their obscure claims.
The situation is worse when it comes to computer audio. By which I mean specifically hearing sounds produced by a computer in the course of playing games rather than using computers in music production or some other "serious" audio production. Games players have different requirements to audiophiles. Quite often directionality is the most important quality of gaming audio, especially in competitive gaming. The quality of reproduction of some frequency that humans can't even hear (no matter what audiophiles tell themselves) is irrelevant. Gamers want an entertaining, immersive experience rather than obsessing over every detail of the reproduction pipeline.
It can't be much fun being an audiophile. I know when I'm listening to music I'm interested in the composition, the style, the musicianship (where appropriate), the qualities that separate a good song from a poor song. A good song on some cheap portable radio with a single built-in speaker is still a good song. A shit song played on some immense audiophile rig where you can hear a couple a block away from the recording studio having sex is still a shit song. Not being able to enjoy music that's in mp3 format or being heard on low-cost earbud earphones is quite tragic.
Of course it's nice to have nice stuff. That should go without saying. It's nice to have speakers that produce a clean, controlled bass rather than some indistinct, muddy rumble. It's nice to have headphones that don't sound tinny and shit. But some people have realistic expectations, especially when it comes to price, and that's what audiophiles are incapable of appreciating.