Now that I've got the tedious gaming-related awards out of the way, it's time to get down to the serious business of looking at pictures of hot women, and awarding the first T-Troop annual promotions.
Captain
The Captain rank in T-Troop is more of an "honourary mention" than an active rank, and as such I feel that Denise Milani is more than qualified. While she does teeter on the edge of cartoon freak on account of her outrageously large breasts, she just about manages to pull off a certain level of charm.
Capt Rosie Jones is one of the new kids on the British glamour circuit, and while she offers an exceptionally fine, young figure, she has yet to shake off a somewhat chavvy image.
Major
Maj Gemma Atkinson has done some stirling work promoting her exceptional breasts, namely by getting them seriously enlarged in a vain attempt to break out from the "ex-teen-soap actress" pack. I don't foresee much future advancement unless she takes a leaf out of Lucy Pinder's book and goes proper topless at the very least.
Previously described by me as the "poor man's Monica Bellucci", Maj Megan Fox is as yet relatively low on the career ladder, but it's still early days for the young actress and with some judicious career management, namely stripping off as often as possible and possibly getting a minor boob enhancement, we could see great things from the girl in the future.
Maj Katie Fey shares some simularities with Rosie Jones in terms of appearance, but has managed to achieve a higher rank by virtue of her willingness to go full-frontal, and for having a substantial catalogue of glamour work behind her..jpg)
Maj Fernanda Lamin is a new entry, after I added her as what will be the last Bennett Girl of 2008. I don't know anything about her, except that her slightly wonky nose might limit future career advancement within T-Troop.
Lieutenant Colonel
Despite hawking shit games for a living under the lame pretence of being a "producer", Jade Raymond has nevertheless brought a much appreciated and long overdue element of classy glamour to gaming. For her efforts she is hereby awarded the distinguished rank of Lt Col Raymond.
Lt Col Kim Kardashian is essentially a nobody, just another anonymous LA socialite with a rich daddy and a sex tape. She does, however, have a remarkable figure that is more than worthy of gaining rank in T-Troop. If she could do something about her horsey face, she might have risen higher still.
Colonel
Officer Kelly Brook was an inaugural T-Troop General, but following some internal restructuring she has been reclassified as a Colonel. This is in no way indicative of poor performance, or in any sense a demotion, but rather a simple renaming of her existing rank. Col Brook has been a regular Bennett girl and currently holds the record for most appearances outside of a TftD feature.
Col Keeley Hazell is probably the queen of British glamour (i.e. topless) modelling. She has a remarkable figure with exceptional breasts which are a pleasure to look at.
Col Holly Madison is a special kind of sloppy seconds, assuming she did actually bang ageing soft-core supremo Hugh Hefner during her time as one of his bitches. Still, at least she's pretty, unlike that hideous Kendra slag and the other one. And even though she's a blonde (in theory), her tremendous figure has earned her rank.
Brigadier
Brig Jelena Jensen leads what is, unofficially, the second tier of porn ranks in T-Troop. Maybe I should spin off a special team for porn models, that's something I'll have to think on. In the mean time, I happily welcome Brig Jensen to the upper echelons of T-Troop.
Brig Shay Laren is, to all intents and purposes, interchangeable with Brig. Jensen. A great figure, and a willingness to show it off in it's entirety are ample qualifications for this rank.
Brig Lucy Pinder leads the charge of British glamour models in T-Troop. Thanks to her admirable decision to go "tits out", she has been rewarded with the esteemed rank of Brigadier. Col Hazell might be the more "popular", but despite a somewhat fuller figure Brig Pinder is still a step up thanks to her much prettier face.
Veronika Zemanova can look anything from exceptionally hot to rough as old boots depending on who shot the pictorial, and how old she was at the time. God only knows how many boob jobs the woman has had, but on a good day she is sensationally hot, so as a compromise she is awarded the rank of Brigadier.
Major General
Congratulations to Maj Gen Aria Giovanni for achieving the highest rank to date for a porn model. Years of dedication to showing us every sublime inch of her body, in addition to her adorable face, have certainly paid off for her.
Eva Wyrwal is arguably a player in the British glamour scene, despite being Polish I believe. In any case she has managed to rocket into a serious T-Troop rank thanks to being outrageously hot. She appears to be making moves into the mainstream following a time modelling for the distinguished likes of MET, and if we lose her to the topless circuit after some exceptional nude work it will be a great loss.
Maj Gen Lena Headey is seriously wasted on the rather uneaven Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. She deserves to be working on something with a great deal more class, because she looks much hotter cleaned up than she does running around fighting robots.
Lieutenant General
Lt Gen Salma Hayek was the very first Bennett Girl, back in October 2007. Since then she has worked tirelessly to provide us with photographs of her exquisite figure and exceptional breasts. I am delighted to be able to reward her efforts with such a distinguished rank.
Lt Gen Sophie Marceau has been out of the limelight for some time, but throughout her career she has offered us mere mortals with plenty of opportunities to nod sagely in appreciation of what is an exceptional example of womanhood.
General
Now we reach the very top of the tree, and it is with great pleasure that I award the very highest rank (below my own, naturally) of General to Ms. Monica Bellucci. Gen Bellucci has provided us with an enviable catalogue of opportunities to worship her peerless beauty and plumptious breasts, undoubtedly thanks to her liberal European heritage.
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