On the Subject of PHaGS

Nonami Takizawa

This was originally going to feature my observations on the subject of monitor input lag, but it quickly arrived at broader territory as we will see in due course. Monitor input lag, essentially the time delay between a monitor receiving an image from the computer and making that image visible to the user, has become the new yardstick for LCD monitors. What amuses me about it is the way wannabe hardcore gamers will pour scorn on a monitor that has been demonstrated, on some random website of no repute, to have a high lag when the truth is 90% of those people probably couldn't even tell the difference in practice. Of course I understand that there is variation in lag, and that less lag is better, but I also understand that a lot of the people who are the most critical and "discerning" are simply deluding themselves that they're good enough gamers to even notice the difference. They want to be seen to reject higher-lag monitors because they see it as an indication of their own gaming prowess.
Of course, by "prowess" I'm really referring to a player's reaction times in FPSes, which is the only genre where a few milliseconds of lag are even an issue. Similarly, when the armchair critics denounce a monitor as being "bad for gaming", they really mean "bad for pro-level FPS gaming", which in turn really means "fine for 99% of people".
It is often easy to identify the pretenders, as their grasp of the technical issues involved is often slight, to say the least. Look out for people claiming that a monitor demonstrated more input lag in one game than another, for example.

It is what I'm going to call Pseudo Hardcore Gamer Syndrome, at least until I think of a catchier title. People who aren't really "all that" but who want to believe they are, and certainly want other people to believe they are, and so adopt the affectations of legitimate top-tier (FPS) gamers as a substitute for genuine ability. I haven't just invented this demographic, as evidenced by the huge variety of "Fatal1ty"-branded gaming products available, for example. Not that PHaGS sufferers (it's almost like I worked backwards from the acronym) would be seen dead with a Fatal1ty mouse/keyboard/psu/cock ring, because those products aren't hardcore enough for the true pros.

Left 4 Dead was, and still is, a tremendous example of PHaGS in action. I've pointed out in the past that pretty much 100% of L4D players think they are better at the game than everyone else, and will often bemoan the quality of random players to a generally sympathetic audience who don't realise that they are, in reality, criticising each other. The other members of that group you just played with who were "poor players" on account of the fact that they wouldn't follow your instructions without question, are most likely busy lamenting your own deficiencies.

The general derision for Far Cry 2 was no doubt in part due it not being just another vacuous corridor shooter designed for the Quake 3 crowd. The common criticisms concerned issues which got in the way of the PHaGS approach of powering through any FPS as quickly as possible so that the sufferer can jump on the nearest forum and announce how short the game was, and especially how easy it was, in an attempt to demonstrate their advanced gamer status.

Of course PHaGS doesn't only affect FPS players. MMOs are another breeding ground for players who want to be seen as better than they really are. Unfortunately in MMOs, monitor input lag is hardly an issue because the games are at the mercy of much higher network lag, nor do pro-branded products like mice, keyboards or anal beads offer any real game play advantages. Fortunately there are plenty of other avenues in which to channel your hardcore pretensions. Historically, MMOs have substituted time played for actual skill, and that will suit the common PHaGS sufferer just fine, since they are commonly ne'er do wells who are in a position to spend an excessive amount of time in-game. There is also the classic issue of beta "testing", because of course only the best players will get into a beta. Or at least so the people in the beta would like to believe. Beyond that, MMOs are largely all about the gear, which at the high end is usually a function of time played, so that's naturally compatible with the PHaGS ethos.

Is there a cure for PHaGS? Perhaps "growing up" might be an effective remedy. There is, however, a danger that once the sufferer has acquired the symptoms, time might further reinforce the delusional state. After all, if you've been playing MMOs since Ultima Online, you must be an exceptional player, right? There's also a serious risk of contagion, as demonstrated (appropriately enough) by L4D. As more and more players accumulate more and more hours played in games which bring them into contact with existing sufferers, the chances of new players developing the symptoms will increase accordingly. It's also important to recognise the dangerous feedback that can occur as the infected population has arguably already grown to the point of becoming a profitable marketing demographic for game developers. Thus more games will be developed which feed on the weaknesses of current sufferers in addition to attracting new and susceptible players, further escalating the problem. It is not inconceivable that the only people who will escape the epidemic are those who have a natural resistance to infection and lack the overall inadequacy and weakness of those people who are most likely to become victims of this ruthless disease.