Some company that made a couple of console games which consisted entirely of quick time events puts out a tech demo masquerading as some sort of revolution in story telling; easily impressed internet idiots fall over themselves to gush praise.
Contrary to the evidence presented in this blog, I'm not really a "hater". If I see something which really does impress me, I'll happily say so, and I can sing praises with the best of them. After reading the hyperbole for the Kara demo I even went in expecting to be impressed, but I simply wasn't.
1. Theme
Oh yes, it's the "OMG I'm alive please don't kill me" robot story. Packaged in a "pretty" (because she isn't all that), vulnerable girly package to get the nerd hormones resonating with the white knight effect. Secretly, the fans just want a Kara of their own on which to perform unspeakable sex acts. Publicly, they pretend to feel proper grown-up sympathy for the poor, abused, helpless little creature, because this is serious story telling, and art, and not some worthless promo for a video game company.
2. Design
It might be impressive if it wasn't a second-rate Chris Cunningham rip-off. It's a blindingly unoriginal take on the sleek, sexy robot look. But all the nerds are too busy searching frame-by-frame for that Basic Instinct flash of TnA to notice.
It doesn't help that Valorie Curry over-acts like she's in some amateur dramatics production of a play written by a 12 year old. She would have been great in the Harry Potter movies. She does, however, have the same open-mouthed, squinty smile as Keira Knightly. Only less pretty. And with less acting ability.
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Separated at birth: Kara, Keira and Boo
3. Writing
Describing this as "written by a 12 year old" is actually too kind. The dialogue is painfully trite and awkward.
4. Direction
What the fuck is up with the camera? Perhaps it's just my personal aversion to over-cooked digital camera work, but this demo is an exceptional example of how animators can get carried away with the freedom offered in the virtual domain, and throw away all the hard-learned rules of cinematic mise en scene. Yeah, let's suddenly swoop by the character with a stupidly short lens for no fucking reason.
5. Tech
It doesn't even look that good. The skin shading is pretty poor (especially in a demo with only one character). The mo-cap is, well, mo-cap so it's no better or worse than any other mo-cap. The facial animation is surprisingly mediocre for a demo which is supposed to push boundaries. It's not a patch on Rockstar's LA Noire capture tech, and looks slow and artificial by comparison. The eye close-ups reminds me of that Diablo 3 teaser, only not as good. See how we animated the small eye movements and eyelids, just like everyone else does!
Ok, it's running (allegedly) in real time on a PS3. But that is more of an excuse for its limitations than a reason to applaud the end result.
Funnily enough the developers secretly recognise this, which is why it's touted more as a story telling demo than a tech demo. It's also why there's a disclaimer in the small print claiming that the tech is a year old. Fine, put out an up-to-date version if it makes so much difference.
6. Cheesy, emotionally manipulative bullshit
I have actually read that some people claim to have shed a tear over this demo. What. The. Fuck. Do you cry when you see rainbows too, you fucking twats? Chopper Read would like a word.
Seriously, the Kara demo is so relentlessly mawkish it makes Spielberg's A.I. seem subtle and sophisticated. And it's not even well written. But it seems that if you bury something under enough sad strings and tinkly piano then some people will start bawling their crybaby eyes out.
I happened to find this when I was looking for a link to the video, and it echoes a lot of my own impressions (even if he does gush about the tech). So maybe not everyone on the internet is an easily-impressed idiot after all.
