The Field Marshal's New Year Honours List

I have been somewhat remiss in my reviews/rants/porn of late, but even I won't let a New Year pass without bestowing my traditional honours. 2011 couldn't have been much worse for PC gaming than 2010, but in fact there were a few gems this year, scattered amongst the endless tide of console dross. With no sign of any next-generation consoles, even console gamers are starting to notice the cracks. Meanwhile increasingly few developers are bothering to create games which take advantage of the PC's advanced technology and the unquestionable superiority of the keyboard/mouse combination as a FPS controller.
But that's a rant for another time. Let's get back to the business in hand.



The Bennett Cross
"... most conspicuous gameplay, or some daring or pre-eminent act of valour or self-sacrifice, or extreme devotion to entertainment in the presence of the enemy"

Serious Sam 3

In which Croteam gets out its pencil case and takes us back to the old school. Speaking of games developed for the PC, here comes a prime example. The game suffers from a slow start, something which has seemingly put off a lot of players (including reviewers), and really makes you work for each new weapon, but eventually you do get back to the classic SS hoards, and the game slips on like a comfortable old jacket. It's the first shooter I've played in a very long time where the mechanics just feel "right". The weapons have satisfying punch and each has value, so along with the carefully meted-out ammo you don't tend to just stick to one particular favourite.
SS3 features relatively subdued and more realistic, less cartoony environments than its predecessors (particularly SS2) but there's still humour and plenty of ridiculous, laugh-out-loud moments. There is perhaps too little variation in the environments (mostly being samey urban Egyptian streets and tombs), but apart from that it's just good old-fashioned fun. Too old-fashioned for some, but then SS3 walks a difficult line between being a proper old-school PC shooter, and incorporating the shiny innovations of more modern games. What exactly do you think it's missing, regenerating health? SS3 is easily the best single player shooter of 2011, although admittedly that's not saying much.



The Bennett Service Order
"... acts of the greatest gameplay or of the most conspicuous entertainment in circumstances of extreme danger"

The Witcher 2

It may be a shock relegation to second place overall, but that's not to say that TW2 isn't a great game, and another PC exclusive (for a few months at least). It has been handicapped by the fact that I haven't managed to spend a great deal of time with it this year, but on the other hand it deserves to be penalised for the tiresome and lazy use of quick time events.
Still, it looks great, not including the unnecessary Geralt redesign, there are tits and swearing as befits a Witcher game, the combat takes a little getting used to but is slightly more involving than that of the original game, and the atmosphere and storytelling of the original remain intact.



The Bennett Medal
"... acts of gallantry and devotion to game play under fire"

Saints Row: The Third

I bought this on a whim because Amazon had the digital download for $40 rather than the increasingly-common $60, and that's something I whole-heartedly support. I hadn't played a Saints Row before, so all I knew about the game was drawn from one or two slightly odd trailers which appeared to feature pro-wrestling moves and giant dildos. Turns out it's a more cartoonish and amped-up open world sandbox which can be compared with GTA4, but only slightly. It's not quite as polished as GTA4, and swings much more towards the arcade end of the spectrum, but there's some good variety, well-presented core missions and lots of opportunities to upgrade and customise.

Honourable Mentions
Perhaps a slightly unfair omission from The Big Three, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim shot itself in the foot by launching in the stupid and unjustifiable $60 price bracket and was barely discounted by any retailers. I vowed not to buy the game before it dropped to $40 or less, which only occurred during the Steam Christmas sales, so it's currently languishing in my Steam library, unplayed. Test Drive Unlimited 2 is a pretty good game, but suffers from some short-sighted development decisions (shitty stearing wheel support) and a mediocre physics model which is neither arcade nor simulation. However, graphically the engine received a nice overhaul, there's a proper day/night cycle and varied weather, fun and well-implemented off-roading, and if you were disappointed that Ibeza seems, if anything, smaller than Oahu then at least they included Oahu as well. Portal 2 is more Portal, with a slightly more prominent narrative angle and a few more puzzles than the first game. Stephen Merchant's voice acting deserved better writing, and overall the game seemed much easier than the original, but it still features the legendary Valve polish.

Dishonourable mentions
Portal 2 may be a fun diversion, but it's not Game of the Year material, contrary to popular opinion. It's still too short for a full-price game, despite being maybe twice the length of Portal, and most damningly it still has absolutely zero replay potential. I haven't tried the co-op and I'm sure that adds a little to the initial longevity, but that's offset by the tiresome "humour" and surprisingly poor writing of the single-player campaign. Id Software are the kings of tech demos masquerading as games but with Rage they experienced something of a fall from grace even in the eyes of their more dedicated fans. Rage was an unashamed console game ported to the PC for the first time in Id history, and despite having "mega" in the name, the megatexture tech was designed more to work around console limitations than take advantage of contemporary PC hardware. If an Id game doesn't have impressive tech, then it has nothing at all. Oh and Crisis 2 came out in 2011, and while featuring some impressive tech, it ended up being just another console port from the PC point of view.

Neither Here Nor There
Battlefield 3 looks pretty and is the multi-player game du jour for the self-styled armchair pro FPS crowd. The increased focus (a relative term: increased from virtually nothing to very little) on a single-player campaign didn't really pay off, as it is reportedly short, uninspired, full of quick-time events and predictably just like all the Call of Duty: Modern Warefares. But as any fans will fall over themselves to tell you, the SP is irrelevant. Which is why the Battlefield games are irrelevant as far as I'm concerned.

The Field Marshal's New Year Honours List

Some Keeley Hazell (and friends) boobs to compensate for a disappointing year in video games

This year's awards have been the source of some serious head-scratching. Not only did I already know which game had taken the top slot back in February, but also there was very little else of any value released, or at the very least played, in the time since. This follows 2009 when I had already failed to award a full quota of medals due to lack of contenders. What the fuck is wrong with gaming at the moment? Of course, what's wrong with gaming is consoles. Console games are largely shit, and developers are so busy fellating Microsoft and Sony that PC gaming has taken a serious hit. Even established PC titles like Call of Duty (Modern Warfare was awarded the coveted Bennett Service Order in 2007, lest we forgot) have been run into the ground in the rush to make them as accessible and retard-friendly as possible.

Honourable Mentions
Despite awarding Dragon Age the Bennett Service order for 2009, 2010 was the year I actually got around to completing it. After a slightly shaky start it improves greatly although the combat is still too old-fashioned. Just Cause 2 was very impressive, but more in the tech-demo sense than as a coherent gaming experience. I could never really be bothered to spend much time with it, so while it's certainly an honourable mention it doesn't seem right to bestow upon it a more prestigious award.

Dishonourable Mentions
Mafia 2 could have been great and featured a great engine, but managed to be shit. Irrespective of whether it was due to the publishers fucking with the game in order to maximise the DLC potential, or just simple incompetence on the part of the developers, it was a very poor piece of work.
Red Dead Redemption might be a great game, but I wouldn't know because Rockstar haven't seen fit to release a PC version. Cunts.

So that was certainly an underwhelming conclusion to the year. Instead, let's have a brief look at some of the forthcoming releases due in 2011 (until they're pushed back).

Crysis 2

This should be the cause of much rejoicing, but contrary to claims made by idiots who believe this will be the long-overdue debut of a proper, next-gen game engine, experienced pundits are aware that it's not so much "Crysis 2" as "Crysis for Consoles". Don't expect CryEngine 3 to be nearly as revolutionary as its predecessor, unless you're a console gamer and never played the original on account of it being a PC exclusive. And lets not forget that the original Crysis wasn't exactly a masterpiece in the game play department, especially in the latter stages. Factor in the dumbed-down, dual-mode nanosuit and it's not looking good. This game is definitely on the "meh" list.

Test Drive Unlimited 2

Should have been released in 2010, and if it had been then maybe I would have had another title with which to pad out the awards. As it is I still know very little about the game, other than the fact that I enjoyed the original a great deal.

The Witcher 2

This is a big one, for me at least. The original Witcher was a fantastic piece of work and still puts the likes of Dragon Age to shame. The combat might have been somewhat basic, but the sheer atmosphere of the game is unmatched. I do have some concerns regarding the follow-up, in particular the dubious and in my opinion entirely unwarranted redesign of Geralt. Still, that aside it's looking good, and even if it's no better than the original, it will still be a great game and a potential Bennett Cross for 2011.

Mass Effect 3

Personally I doubt that this will see the light of day in 2011, and if it does then that raises doubts about the quality of the game. I suspect ME3 will be built on the same technology as ME2 and so will do little more than continue (and theoretically complete) the ME story. That would be a shame, considering the technological advances made for ME2. As much of a ME fan as I have become, I can't help feeling a certain trepidation with respect to the next chapter.

Dragon Age 2

I find it strangely hard to care about this game. There are reports that a lot will be different in part 2, mostly things which fans of the original are up in arms about, but things which seem entirely justified to me, like reducing the dialogue options so that your character can have proper voice acting like in Mass Effect. Or more streamlined, less wanky combat that isn't designed for people playing PnP games in the 80s. So it could be a vast improvement over an already serviceable game, or else it could be more console trash. Time will tell.

Elder Scrolls 5: Skyrim

Very little is known about this game right now, thanks to an entirely worthless pre-rendered teaser being the only proof of the game's existence. With only 11 months until its supposed release, it's difficult to make any predictions although I guarantee old-school RPG players will find loads of shit to complain about. And if they don't seriously improve the levelling mechanics, voice acting and storyline after Oblivion, I will have complaints of my own.

Rage

All the id fans are working themselves into a masturbatory frenzy already, and I don't even know when this game's supposed to ship, but I predict that it will massively fail to live up to expectations. id have basically been releasing the same game over and over again since the original Doom, trading mostly on John Carmack's impressive engine technology with little thought or innovation evident in the game design. Not only will Rage be more of the same (albeit with vehicles), it'll also be a console release and therefore probably trash.

Diablo 3

Another game which I'm not sure we'll see in 2011. As someone who was never really into the original I'm not weighed down by historical baggage and so rather than bitching about the colourful graphics I'll at least be able to judge the game on its own merits.

Guild Wars 2

Who knows if we'll see anything from Arena Net in 2011. I would guess a beta or two would be likely, if not the final game. I do have high hopes for the game, on the basis that ANet have something of a history of doing things their own way rather than ploughing the same WoW-clone furrow as everyone else. On the other hand, GW went steadily downhill with the release of the later chapters, including an ever-increasing emphasis on grindy titles that doesn't bode well for the sequel.

I've just noticed that every single one of these games with the exception of Rage is a sequel. Although given that id have been remaking the same game over and over again since Doom 1, that's not saying much.

The Field Marshal's New Year Honours List

Another year chalked up, and with it another batch of games. It must be pointed out that I haven't awarded a Bennett Medal this year because try as I might, I've been unable to think of a third game which has rocked my world in 2009. There have been some near-misses, but it has been a fallow year for AAA titles it seems.



The Bennett Cross
"... most conspicuous gameplay, or some daring or pre-eminent act of valour or self-sacrifice, or extreme devotion to entertainment in the presence of the enemy"

The Hunter

A game of which many gamers are probably unaware, and some of those who do know it may well be inclined to steer clear on the grounds that killing small, defenseless fluffy animals is mean and nasty, or something like that.
Brand awareness certainly hasn't been helped by financial troubles faced by the developers this year which apparently led them into a period of administration. Fortunately it's still running, and we can only hope that work continues to fully realise the game's potential.
But what about the game itself? Well, it's a relatively straightforward hunting game. You pick a weapon, you set out into a completely open and satisfyingly large island game reserve, and then you track and (hopefully) kill either deer, turkey, elk or coyote. Sounds simple, and it is, but that doesn't do justice to the amazing atmosphere of the game. The reserve itself is beautifully rendered, especially in the early morning as you trek across misty hillsides with the sun peaking through the trees. Despite the number of species available, game is few and far between and you can spend a large amount of time starting to wonder if there's anything there at all, until you hear the grunt of a big buck, or the startling whine of an elk bull, and then you're into the tracking stage. Some of the animals are very, very sensitive and getting close is the biggest challenge, which makes a kill even more nerve-wracking. Much as I like Serious Sam, The Hunter is no mindless run-and-gun. There are no airports full of civilians to mow down with your machine gun, no grenades or gunships or demons or waves of undead to fend off. It's not for everyone, but if you don't have any moral objections to the game, and can stand something a bit more laid-back which rewards patience over twitch skills, there's nothing better that I'm aware of.



The Bennett Service Order
"... acts of the greatest gameplay or of the most conspicuous entertainment in circumstances of extreme danger"

Dragon Age: Origins

I've put about 20 hours into this game so far, and it's telling me I'm 15% of the way through. I'm sure some twat power-leveler could have finished it by now but the point is there's so much to appreciate in Dragon Age that I'm really in no hurry to finish it. There are flaws, notably the combat which is awkward and old-fashioned, and I spend a lot of time wishing I could skip the dungeon crawls and get back to the story. And I could do without having to micro-manage all the party members. And your hero really ought to have recorded dialogue instead of standing there like a statue in every cutscene. But ultimately Bioware have taken the excellent story-telling mechanics of Mass Effect and fitted them to a dungeons and dragons adventure. The result is an enormously satisfying game, and it wouldn't do it justice to say it's a good way to pass the time until Mass Effect 2 appears.

Honourable Mentions
Aion was perhaps the biggest launch for me this year, so why isn't it in the big 3? It's fairly pretty, and flying is an interesting, if not particularly well-implemented gimmick, but really there's not much else to even say about it. It's the same old mechanics, a whole shit-load of grind, and the usual deluge of moronic cunts who show up wherever PvP rears its ugly head. It's not really bad, it's just not great.
Having just picked up Torchlight in the Steam winter sale, I'm enjoying it a lot as a sort of gentle alternative to Diablo. The pet is a nice touch, especially being able to send it back to town to sell all the crap while you're in a dungeon.
Overlord II was more of the same, and no worse for that. Burnout Paradise was ok, although much more arcade-orientated than the superior Test Drive Unlimited.

Dishonourable Mentions
Dead Space came out in 2008 I think, but since I only just got around to playing it, it's included here. Awful, awful, AWFUL controls, stupid third-person view and insipid story. HAWX could have been Strike Commander for 2009, but instead managed to be tedious shit with an awful external view mechanic that could have been designed by the Dead Space devs. FEAR 2 was a borderline good game, except that Monolith managed to make the same mistakes as the developers of the FEAR expansions and as a result Project Origin's story is shit. The action often misfires and the game ends up being a pale imitation of the original.

The Field Marshal's New Year Honours List

It is the time no one has been waiting for. That's right, it's time to unveil the 2009 New Year Honours List. I expect to see these awards listed prominently on all future promotional literature.



The Bennett Cross
"... most conspicuous gameplay, or some daring or pre-eminent act of valour or self-sacrifice, or extreme devotion to entertainment in the presence of the enemy"

Far Cry 2

Undoubtedly the game which would win anyone's award for "game which has most drastically divided public opinion", Far Cry 2 took a bit of getting used to but has proven to be the game which has provided me with far and away the greatest amount of entertainment of any game released this year. That might sound like damning it with faint praise, but I really have grown to enjoy the game enormously.

On the other hand it has some absolutely rabid detractors, who obviously expected another glossy, linear corridor shooter like CoD4 which would lead them by the hand from one scripted set-piece to the next, quickly and efficiently, so that they could complete the game and subsequently proclaim their godlike FPS skills on message forums around the world. It turns out that trying to force your way through FC2 is the exact wrong way to approach the game, and is guaranteed to result in frustration. Stop treating missions as having single objectives, and instead treat all the checkpoints and travel and exploration as objectives in their own right and you will be rewarded with a much more satisfying, if less high-octane experience.
It's a sad fact that many gamers, especially self-styled hardcore FPS players but increasingly MMO players too, have simply forgotten how to enjoy games and have instead come to regard them as some sort of barometer of personal worth. Which, paradoxically, is in fact an accurate indication of those particular players' worthlessness.

Far Cry 2 undoubtedly has flaws, especially the handling of respawning, but it really is unmatched by any other FPS when it comes to creating an immersive, open world. Contrary to its critics' claims, the travel and exploration and sheer scale of the world are in fact a good thing and a welcome change to the claustrophobic, barely-disguised corridors of the likes of CoD4 and Crysis/Warhead. There's a decent selection of fun weapons, and setting fires never gets old. After tweaking some Vista services it has also proven to be pretty stable, and is also known to be just about the only game on earth that runs better in DX10 mode.

While 2008 hasn't been the greatest year in PC gaming FC2 doesn't lead on the honours list by default, it leads by being an excellent game.



The Bennett Service Order
"... acts of the greatest gameplay or of the most conspicuous entertainment in circumstances of extreme danger"

Steam

I don't think I ever specified that only games can qualify for Honours, and with that in mind I really have to recognise Steam as a serious force in PC gaming in general. I have previously described it as having reached "critical mass", but in 2008 the system managed to elevate itself to yet another level. With some serious third-party publishers on board, including EA and Ubisoft, I haven't had any need to look elsewhere for a new game in a long, long time.
And add to that their exceptional weekend deals which have resulted in me buying Max Payne, Overlord, Titan Quest, Vampire: The Masquerade and Stalker and more. I might not have spent much time in all of them, but at $5-$10 they are well below my "why not?" threshold.
Other download services are available, but with the possible exception of slightly questionable pricing policies (which are most likely out of Valve's control anyway), Steam has yet to disappoint and is really leading the way into a brighter future of digital distribution.



The Bennett Medal
"... acts of gallantry and devotion to game play under fire"

The Witcher: Enhanced Edition

I couldn't really justify awarding The Witcher an extra bar on its Bennett's Cross, but it still deserves another nod for its exceptional quality which is now even more polished and voluminous thanks to the Enhanced Edition. Most astonishing of all is the fact that it was given away for free to owners of the original game, so massive respect to CD Projekt for that. They seem to be working on a console version now, which hopefully won't delay any work on a sequel.

Honourable Mentions
Even though I'm not keen on playing shooters online, I must give a nod to Left 4 Dead. It comes with Valve's trademark polish, robustness and overall quality, even if it's a bit light on content and doesn't fare too well as a single-player game. It was also an audacious move to develop a game which relies on cooperative play between the feral online retards who rejoice in "pwning noobs" and simply can't comprehend the notion of cooperation, and attempt to play it competitively regardless. It's a fact that 100% of Left 4 Dead players think they're better at the game than everyone else, and think that all other players suck.

While Steam has already been honoured in its own right, it must be said that some of my greatest gaming moments of 2008 came courtesy of their special deals on older games, most notably Max Payne 1 & 2. I had managed to overlook them in the past, and it's a rare joy to happen across forgotten gems of their calibre.

Finally, big-up to Tomb Raider: Underworld, for bestowing an even more exquisitely-modelled and rendered arse on the buxom wonder, not to mention providing ample opportunities to ogle it in the underwater stages.

Dishonourable Mentions
It's a good job Jade Raymond is pretty, because Assassin's Creed, which was finally released on the PC in 2008, was a load of old toss. One of the few games I never bothered to finish because it really was that bad.

I sort of feel as if Age of Conan shouldn't be a dishonourable mention, but neither did it rise to level of those mentioned above. The game wasn't all bad, but ultimately it was a bit of a missed opportunity.

Warhammer, the other over-hyped MMO of 2008, didn't even get installed on my machine after the beta. Dumbed-down PvP in a WoW style, it felt soul-less and contrived and tedious.

The Field Marshal's New Years Honours List

You can't jibber-jabber about games in a blog and not have some sort of pompous awards post towards the end of the year. So after several minutes of careful consideration, here are the Field Marshal's definitive awards (in descending order of greatness).



The Bennett Cross
"... most conspicuous gameplay, or some daring or pre-eminent act of valour or self-sacrifice, or extreme devotion to entertainment in the presence of the enemy"

The Witcher

A game that might have been highly anticipated by the three people who knew it existed, The Witcher appeared to me out of nowhere and quickly established itself as my game of the year by a considerable margin.
Fast and furious swordplay that gets more impressive as you progress and which shits all over Oblivion's clumsy button-mashing, combined with some beautifully crafted narrative and characterisation. The gameplay might be more linear (in a very loose sense) than Oblivion but that only serves to deliver a richer, more rewarding storyline. And it's nice to play a game which isn't afraid to feature a well-defined, strong lead character rather than the anonymous everyman that's becoming increasingly common in games like Half-Life.
The characters are great, the voice acting mostly excellent, the graphics are excellent, the design is superb. There's lots of shagging, lots of swearing, and even bare breasts if you secure an uncensored, non-US version. What's not to like?



The Bennett Service Order
"... acts of the greatest gameplay or of the most conspicuous entertainment in circumstances of extreme danger"

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

Having played the original CoD, and half of CoD2, I thought I had a pretty good idea of what to expect from the latest installment. That was until I got stuck into the full game which turned out to be much greater than the sum of it's parts. As the story kicked in I became remarkably immersed in the action, wanting to push on to help power our lads to victory against the filthy terrorist scum. The cutscenes are exceptionally cinematic, there are some typically big, loud firefights. There are some nice distractions like the airborne, night-vision section and the game is very pretty while still running impressively quickly. While not exactly coming out of nowhere, CoD4 was still a surprise hit of 2007.



The Bennett Medal
"... acts of gallantry and devotion to gameplay under fire"

Crysis

Sadly it has become fashionable to bash Crysis in the weeks since it's release, usually by people who feel "ripped off" because their PC can't run it at a million frames a second.
Admittedly the story is a let down, possibly worse than Far Cry's which is saying something. But the gameplay itself is very solid, and of course the graphics are staggering. It's a very good game, even if it could never live up to the absurd hype that has surrounded it for that last couple of years and even if you're too poor to be able to afford a PC that's capable of running it.


Honourable Mentions
Bioshock was beautifully-designed and essentially an underwater System Shock 2, but I haven't actually got around to completing it. Unreal Tournament 3 is basically a shiny UT for 2007 and is good for quick blast now and then. Portal was innovative and nice, even if it lacks longevity (for me at least). I still haven't got around to Half-Life 2: Episode 2, thanks to my ongoing Witcher fixation, but it's supposed to be the strongest episode yet. Gears of War was ok in a sort of one-dimensional console-y sort of way.


Dishonourable Mentions
Vanguard: Saga of Heroes was highly anticipated as the next-gen MMO but has so far failed to deliver despite it's enormous potential. You never know, it could miraculously become good, but it's nearly a year old and the game is still plagued by many of the same problems it has suffered since day one, not to mention crippled by one of the most infuriatingly smug and self-righteous communities of self-styled MMO veterans of any game in existence. A great shame.