Lena Headey
Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles
This could, and probably should have been shit. That it's not is down to just a couple of factors, namely a good (and very hot, especially when she wears her hair up) actress in the Sarah Connor lead role, and an ex-Oz cast member in the supporting cast.
As such it passes my "Oz" test, whereby any series that features ex-Oz cast members raises itself up from the mire of mediocrity to become genuinely good. The more ex-Oz cast, the better the series. See also "Cane" & "Dexter" for other recent examples.
Apart from those two it's not exactly gripping, genius programming, but it's quite watchable. I would have preferred a more statuesque, Jeri Ryan / Natasha Henstridge-style "good" terminator, but of course these sorts of shows have to appeal to the "y00t" demographic, typically by featuring young, vaguely-attractive, interchangeable, anonymous nobodies in as many roles as possible.
Knight Rider
Talking of anonymous nobodies, this recent Knight Rider remake pilot was absolutely packed with them. It also failed the Oz test. And despite trying their hardest to hook the likes of me early on with promises of lesbians and hot three-way sexy action, it still managed to be utter shite. The lesbian is hideous for a start, and the sexy action was all over in the first 5 minutes, leaving another hour-and-a-half of tedious, ill-conceived twattery.
No doubt they were paid obscene wads of cash to use a shitty Mustang as the new kitt, but unfortunately it already looks low-rent and dated before the show's even started. And Val Kilmer's kitt voice is immensely forgettable. I didn't even realise it was him until I looked it up.
I suspect the new Michael could be quite good given better material to work with, but the rest of the cast are unspeakably poor quality. It's sad that the hot technician girl from the original series has been replaced by the token wacky, goofy, hil-ar-ious nerd. The whole show felt massively focus-grouped and formulaic and naturally ended up being bland and soul-less.
Bionic Woman
Even more anonymous nobodies, this time they even scoured the globe for them, and another Oz-test failure. This show had virtually no redeeming qualities. Even the obvious opportunities for hot lesbo catfight action weren't capitalised upon, which is simply criminal. Only the younger sister offered any visual relief, and even she was quite irritating.
Pure shit.
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